Astrological Asininity: August 13, 2014 issueAries: The fortune’s kinda weird but here it is: watch out for Santa because it’s totally the wrong time of year so it’s probably not Santa and instead just some weirdo so just stay away K? Taurus: You know what word I hate? Antipasto! Like, LOL! Antipasto, yeah right. Anyway, watch out for people who […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: July 16, 2014 issueLOL so ummm I thought the three-hour classes were over but now there’s another semester of them? OMG this is going to turn me into SUPER RIVER! JK here are your fortunes. Ummm and before we get into them someone was asking about how I come up with these, or at least I was daydreaming […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: June 9, 2014 issueUgh like whoa, we made it through one month of these long classes but now we’re in another OMG can it please stop? Well here are some fortunes to help you out a bit! Aries: Hairies! Hairy Aries! LOL just kidding, hi Aries! Hope you bought a lotto ticket like I told you to last […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: May 14, 2014 issueHi so OMG whoa these spring classes are long like hours and hours long my head is spinning more than usual! Here are some fortune cookies LOL I mean fortunes. Aries: Accidentally Aries! Totally a new movie I’m writing in my head LOL. Just kidding, and by the way, I hope you manage to buy […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: April 2, 2014 issueHi! OMG this is the last issue of this website before the semester ends so um bye!! Aries: Hi Aries! I hope you’re ready for the spring semester! Or, are you leaving Camosun for now? I hope you come back because Aries you’re one of my faves. Taurus: Taurus, study hard for those tests, because […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: March 19, 2014 issueOMG I got my first fan letter the other day OMG OMG OMG thank you for reading I hope your future is great! Oh wait, I know your future and, well, it’s so-soÉ but you’re still awesome! Totes thanks for reading! For the rest of you, hi! I’m River and I can see the future!@ […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: March 5, 2014 issueHi okay OMG did you see last issue where I was put at the bottom of the page? Is that because you’ve all been complaining about me? Um if anyone likes me please email The Next-Us or whatever this website is called and let them know! Aries: So did you use the duct tape like […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: February 19, 2014 issueHi! My name’s River and I can see the future… go! Aries: Okay, so there just might be something about a “duck escape” in your future but I don’t really get why unless you live on a farm! Oh, hold on, the cosmos is giving me some signals hereÉ oh, “duct tape”? Signal is coming […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: February 5, 2014 issueSo someone told me it’s winter but it’s totally not winter, that’s in December! The cosmos works in weird ways, but not THAT weird! Aries: So, that exam was pretty hard, right? That’s because you didn’t study enough, not because of the cosmos LOL. Taurus: Do you ever just sit and think about the word […] Continue Reading |
Astrological Asininity: January 22, 2014 issueUmmmm so my editor told me to “be more concise” after last time. After I finished swearing at the jerk, I looked up that word in the dictionary [Anyone looking for a job as our new astrologist?—ed]. Then I looked up “concise,” too, and “be” while I was at it. And, okay, fine. I’ll keep […] Continue Reading |
