Columns

I asked one of my fellow recovering sex and love addicts what I might write about in this edition of my column, and she said, “write about addiction as a friend.” I had to consider this. I must admit, I still often enough feel frustrated or disappointed with myself. I struggle to get out of […]

Hello. I’m Alexis. This September I became a first-year student in Camosun College’s Indigenous Studies program. The first lessons we moved through in week 1 were about introductions and the importance of them within First Nations culture. In each of my classes I was to compose an essay introducing myself, including information about where I […]

I was told in a History class—I’m actually probably told this every year—that the reason we study history is so we can learn from example and avoid making the same mistakes that the people who came before us did. And I just kind of assumed we had our best people on that, making sure we […]

As a student of psychology, I sometimes feel besieged with the message that science is the superior way of understanding. The scientific method is empirical, rational, as objective and unbiased as possible, and self-correcting. Often enough I find myself annoyed by the tedium and monotony required by such a method. It’s a lot of work, […]

Well, I guess we’re attending college from home now. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been struggling to keep my productivity up. None of my classes have scheduled meeting times, which sounds great, except that it puts a lot more responsibility on me to not fall behind. Of course, grades and deadlines help keep […]

Early on in addiction recovery, remaining sober from a primary addiction—be it alcohol, gambling, pornography, or unhealthy relationships—is a grind. It is painful and difficult and often the effort is abandoned one or more times. I’ve heard it said that relapse is part of recovery, and, therefore, should be expected. This initial withdrawal cannot be […]

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about beginnings, endings, and everything in between. I’ve realized over time that getting from point A to point B is never a smooth, straight line; instead, it’s curvy and jagged, and I can never find that darn ruler when I need it. Twenty years ago, I married the person […]

It’s fascinating that our entire human existence is spent inside our minds. Yes, we use our bodies to interact with the world and other people, but there is a buffer zone between our brains and the world. That buffer zone is what we call “the senses.” Thanks to vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, it […]

Like many sex and love addicts, I also fall under the category of “codependent.” I think this term is fairly common today, but still there is significant misunderstanding and lack of knowledge around codependency. It is not a healthy way of depending on others, like interdependence, where both or all people are whole and complete […]

Just when I thought I could relax a little and enjoy the summer with my kids, I find myself being accosted at the stores with back-to-school advertising and supplies. I attempt to shield my eyes from the glare, feel my way to the s’mores-making aisle, and pretend that I didn’t just see the animated pencil […]