In my last column, I discussed the concept of intention and how we can use it to shape our behaviours and actions. I want to use this edition to zoom in on a facet of intention that is ever so important: thinking before one speaks.
Intentional talk is not something that comes naturally to all of us. Oftentimes communication is more off the top of our heads and freestyled, which can be limiting in some aspects.
Intentional talk can help you to further a conversation in a way that benefits you; it can eliminate the awkward silences and pauses when you lose your train of thought. Intentional speech helps you to filter your communication so that only the important things get said.
As a point of clarification, when I speak of intentional talk I am not referring to a perfect script that you have designed for every conversation—that won’t work, because that’s not how conversations work.
Intentional talk is not meant to be a form of manipulation or deceit toward the person you are communicating with; rather it is a self-focused practice to help you have deeper and more authentic conversation.
To put it plainly: preparing for conversation. It’s understanding the purpose of the conversation you are about to have and creating a mental list to refer back to when things start getting dry.
In a more formal setting, such as a job interview, it never hurts to do some research on the person you plan on speaking with.
People love to feel important and smart, so you should keep that in mind and have some questions in your back pocket to ask the interviewer.
Speaking intentionally with adequate preparation is a valuable skill that will help you in networking, the ever-important tool that’s often talked about as we prepare for post-college working life. The people you want to network with or have mentor you are likely very busy, so prepare appropriately and don’t waste their time.
Whether in personal or professional communication, the last thing you want to do is make a boneheaded remark that just slips out. So take some time and think before you react.
Good luck, and remember, unprepared communication is the enemy of great conversation.