With the stress of final exams looming, the tension on both Camosun’s Lansdowne and Interurban campuses is palpable. Camosun students are wandering like time-bomb zombies, waiting to explode with the pressure of mounting assignments and tests; some students, apparently, have, literally, not slept for three years.
Lucky for the tension-riddled masses, a solution has been presented to help combat the end-of-semester blues: exotic creature cuddles.
In an exciting pilot project, Camosun plans to bring therapy animals to the Lansdowne campus, with the intention of expanding to Interurban next year. Studies have shown the stress-reducing benefits of therapy animals; spending time playing with a puppy or cuddling a kitty has been proven to lower heart rates and release endorphins—something all students could use at this trying time of year.
The college had hoped to provide shelter dogs and cats to the students; unfortunately, it appears that with recent changes in regard to laws surrounding renting to pet owners, an influx in pet adoptions has left the shelters empty.
Luckily, a generous student—who wishes to remain anonymous—has offered to donate his veritable petting zoo for his classmates to snuggle; henceforth, starting April 1, 2018, Terry the Tarantula, Silvio the Scorpion, Randy the Rat, and Perry the Python will be available at various locations on the Lansdowne campus for a quick hug.
“Anonymous” hopes students will take advantage of his unconventional menagerie. “Creepy-crawlies get such a bad rep,” he says. “But they are so sweet! Silvio has only stung me a handful of times. And he’s only a little poisonous. I’ll make sure to send some antivenom with him!”
“Anonymous” is quick to point out the advantages of these creatures over traditional therapy pets. “Rats are super smart!” he says. “Randy helped me ace physics last semester!”
When pressed to discuss how a rat can do physics, “Anonymous” said “he’s really good with multiple choice! He leaves a little present beside the right answer! He’s also small enough that you can sneak him into an exam in your pocket!”
While Nexus doesn’t condone cheating, we do support checking out these amazing creatures! Just make sure you bring your scorpion antivenom.
Update: after this story was finished, Nexus was informed that there was a “situation” while Perry the Python and Randy the Rat were being transported to campus together. RIP, Randy.