Changing a society starts with education for young people. If we want to advocate for victims’ rights we need to teach youth to respect women, to understand what enthusiastic consent means, and to better understand the complexities when it comes to consent and sex.
Sex is one of the messiest things we do as people, but when I was in grade school the consent talk I got compared consent to tea. I’m not kidding—the entirety of my consent education was a three-minute video on when to not drink tea, comparing it to when to ask for consent for sex. Comparing consent to tea is not enough—we need to realize how complex it is and give real-world scenarios so youth can truly understand what it means to consent.
According to the Canadian Women’s Foundation, only 45 percent of people in Canada “fully understand what it means to give consent to sexual activity.” This is why it’s essential to start with education and teaching young people to respect boundaries, reading peers’ body language, and focusing on their tone of voice.
We can implement different programs based on the grade of the youth, but to start with something as simple as respecting boundaries must be taught in depth in schools; teaching children how to express when they are hurt should also be taught. We should listen to kids and check in with them about how they are feeling. It’s so often taught to suppress emotions and not feel sadness, anger, or hurt; however, we must challenge this way of thinking and allow youth to feel and talk about their emotions.
Modelling consent would also be a great skill-based way to put consent into practice in the classroom. Learning to ask simple questions about what behaviour is okay, like “Would you rather a hug or a handshake?” is an interactive way for children to learn about what it means to ask for a classmate’s consent.
Educators must determine what their students already know about consent and break down barriers built by the lies we get told about consent and the students who just refuse to learn.
It’s also essential that we emphasize the importance of talking to a trusted adult, and we must keep the conversation going. We must create a safe place for young people to talk about their concerns, voice their consent, and realize this is something they can freely talk about without judgment.
Consent is a life skill that should be practiced long before we talk about sex and relationships. It’s something that needs to be addressed in every stage of education, whether that’s in elementary school talking about respecting boundaries and talking to trusted adults, or in college, where we must foster a safe environment for victims and allow them a space to talk freely.
Consent can be withdrawn at any time, and it’s an essential subject to fully understand and talk about, whether that’s in a classroom or with your peers.
The only way we’re going to change people’s views on what it means to consent is by keeping the conversation going.