Self-actualization is a hot topic these days. Everywhere I look I see phrases like “Love yourself!” or “Only you matter!” or, the one that particularly sets my teeth on edge, “Dance like nobody’s watching!” I can’t walk down the street without passing 10 gyms offering some new yoga routine that will change my life. It’s stylish to be in harmony with yourself, self-worth is beaming all over every social-media platform, and pop lyrics are bursting with raw positivity.
I tend to believe that messages of high self esteem are a good thing, however, this constant outpour is starting to feel a bit overdone and insincere. Sometimes it feels to me that this overflow of personal Zen might actually backfire, and I wonder if these messages of self worth and self care really work. Do young people know and respect themselves in ways that I was never able to do?
Of course, I grew up in a slightly different time. When I was a teenager and young adult, in the grunge era, we didn’t listen to songs that proclaimed inner strengths and championed selves. Quite the opposite. During my coming of age we listened to angry and depressing lyrics that were full of self-depreciation and an appreciation of impending doom. If someone walked around with a snarl toward humanity and a scoff at employment they were probably considered the real deal, a deep human being. Comedy was all about sarcasm and roasting our fellow humans (not to mention ourselves).
When I was a teenager, smoking was cool, and piercings and tattoos were rebellious. In fact, doing anything that harmed the inner body and marked up the outer one could probably get you into most people’s good books.
It’s been an odd transition from a time where high self esteem was frowned upon into this world where singing your own praises and manifesting power is what’s normal; from a time of teenagers being hunched over, angry, and silent to seeing teenagers today, who are glossy with pride and hyper vigilance, counting their personal achievements before they reach their 20s. Even though it’s inspiring to hear about a 15-year-old who has invented an app that counts our blood sugar levels as we eat, it’s kind of scary, too—I hope that childhood hasn’t completely left the realms of reality.
It’s very positive to be positive, but in this fast-paced world I hope we all can try to remember what stage of life we’re in and that looking and acting important today probably won’t matter too much tomorrow.