From the ages of 18 to 24 I was so deep into addiction that I thought I’d never get out. I had run away from my home and my family when I was 17 and ended up living in single room occupancy housing in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. I had to earn money any way possible to fund my addiction, and I felt judgment everywhere; it’s a terrible feeling to carry. I was young, scared, emaciated, and always cold. I believed life would never change.
Every morning I walked to the Gastown pharmacy to pick up medication. It was one place I found a few people who knew my name and treated me kindly. One morning, I was staggering down the street to the pharmacy; I hadn’t eaten for almost a week and was so hungry I could barely walk. I rarely depended on the goodwill of others, but that day I asked one of the pharmacists who knew me well if he could lend me a dollar so I could buy a chocolate bar (this was over 20 years ago). I explained how very hungry I was. I expected him to say no, but without pausing, he reached into his till and handed me a $20. He looked into my eyes and smiled at me, like I was a worthy human being. He knew I could get a hit with that $20, but without judgment or questions he handed it to me, and I ate a meal for the first time in a week.
That moment between us restored my faith in humans, and in life. It began the start of a journey to recover, to begin a real life of my own.
After a few years in recovery I took a chance that he might still work there. I took the ferry back to Vancouver, to the Gastown pharmacy, and thanked him personally for his kindness that day. He didn’t recognize me immediately—after all, I was seven years older, a healthy weight, and smiling.
When I explained to him how much he’d helped me that day, he was very touched, but he told me it wasn’t him, it was me who’d changed my life. I only sort of agree with that.
The day that one person took a chance on me was the day I began to believe in a better life, and would later start to believe in myself. We may think that as individuals we are too small in the scheme of things to make any difference in the world, but it’s not true. Every action we do makes a difference.
If one gesture of goodwill is powerful enough to change a person in the depths of destruction, then imagine what people can do as a whole.
Anything is possible.