Today—Friday, April 1—Nexus has learned through an anonymous phone call left on our voicemail in the middle of the night (keep those coming, by the way) that Camosun College will soon be replacing its swooshy-C logo with pictures of new president Lane Trotter’s smile.
“It’s just so infectious, no one can look away from it, so we knew what had to be done,” the anonymous source said on our voicemail.
Camosun spokesperson Romney Sporter confirmed that this is taking place, saying that it’s part of the college’s 2023-2029 Strategizing Plan, which is a sub-plan of the 2023-2031 Strategic Superplan, itself simply a small part of the 2023-2045 World Domination plan (“Not how it sounds,” says Sporter).
“You can see that bloody smile from across the bloody campus,” says Sporter. “Damn bloody right we’re making it our new logo.”
Michelle Clover of the Camosun College Student Society (CCSS) says that the CCSS has been aware of this for weeks.
“I mean, it’s a bit… unusual. But these are unprecedented times, so I guess anything goes,” says Clover, while petting therapy dogs visiting the campus and sitting in a blow-up hot tub filled with essential oils, all part of the college’s oddly named “Just freakin’ relax and don’t worry about a thing, YOU’RE FINE” week.
When asked about the change, Trotter was enthusiastic. Like, really enthusiastic.
“Yes! I’m so happy to be so happy that the college has decided to make that happiness part of [inaudible due to the sounds of AC/DC and muscle cars roaring].”
Not everyone is pleased about the rumoured change, though.
“His smile may be the best and the brightest,” says one former Camosun employee, “but that’s no reason why… I mean, should the logo really be… Okay, yeah, fine, that’s a hell of a good smile.”
Look for Trotter’s smile absolutely everywhere on campus soon enough.
“I’ve been working on the rebranding, and I’m seeing this smile on the back of my eyelids, man,” said the source on our voicemail. “Seriously, I can’t sleep. Please help.”