Being vulnerable isn’t just a female thing, yet it’s still treated like it is. I just wonder, is this how the male population want to be seen? As testosterone-driven beings with no emotion, here to show off their masculinity and throw coconuts on each other’s heads? Most likely not. So if males don’t want to be seen as emotionless monsters, why is there still a stigma around showing feelings?
Being a female doesn’t mean we always overreact and cry out loud when we don’t get what we want. Being female also means being brave enough to stand up for ourselves, having a voice that wants to be heard. But it also means we are fine with being vulnerable.
Maybe it’s our role in evolution to pass on emotional behaviour to the next generation, but if so, shouldn’t men do the same? Of course they should. We need that shift in order to show the next generation that crying when something hurts you is okay. And that laughing out loud when you think something is funny is okay as well.
Why did showing vulnerability become unacceptable? Since it’s Movember, this really made me think about how there is even this whole month dedicated to male vulnerability but society still doesn’t cope with the concept.
Feminism is about equality. But if young boys can’t even show their feelings, how will they become equal? How will they ever feel like they are allowed to show their soft side, show when they are hurt? Or show that they simply are feminist, because they believe in equality and understand that equality also means that they are allowed to be what society deems more “female”? By saying this: feelings are not female, that’s just how society perceives things.
I want all these things normal for boys as well as for young girls. Maybe we could finally stop the social education from the ‘50s and move on. I always tell my male friends that they can come and talk and that I will listen and not judge them. And the more trust they have, the more they start to become free from those enforced, learned social behaviours. And then something wonderful happens: we can talk openly, just be the beings that we are, laughing and crying together. “You just became one of the boys,” a male friend once said to me, and I couldn’t have been more honoured.
So, yay to Movember and to vulnerability, to talks without boundaries, and to helping one another through tough times, because that’s what friends are for, right?