In response to the provincial government saying that post-secondary institutions should start planning for a full return to campus in September, Camosun College announced on April 1 that all classes will be taught by the BC premier, provincial health officer, and provincial health minister.
“I know the premier thinks young people blew it, so this is a really good opportunity for him to come to our campus, which of course we’ll have totally COVID-proof in just a few months here, and teach the youth himself,” says Camosun spokesperson Todney Blorter. “Should be safe enough, according to the government.”
Camosun College Student Union president Michelle Clover says that having politicians teach classes is an “absurd” idea but points out that in this era of absurdity, it “kinda makes sense.”
“I mean, it’s either a post-modern take on irony delivered in the most concrete fashion, or it’s just revenge,” says Clover. “Either way.”
The college has confirmed that the politicians will be unable to change the course materials.
“This might result in some conflict when they’re teaching, for example, some of the textbooks that our more radical teachers enjoy utilizing,” says Blorter. “I mean, Paula Grady’s thoughts on government control might sound a bit odd coming out of the premier’s mouth, but the entertainment factor will hopefully make students forget about the deadly virus that the government is making post-secondary institutions dance around.”
More information to come, after April Fool’s Day.