I’ve noticed that how I think of myself changes. I think this is a good thing: if we were always in the same state of mind we would never grow. That said, I can’t help but wonder how the way we think of ourselves promotes and inhibits our personal journey.
As a little girl, nothing about my body bothered me. As an adult, it fluctuates depending on the day. I’m never in a linear line of thinking. One day I’m feeling confident about the image I present, and the next I’m wondering why I ever felt like that in the first place. We fall into these patterns of dislike and hatred so easily; all it takes is for someone to point out our “flaws.” In most cases, it’s the media.
And they do it on purpose.
How we interact with the world around us (or, rather, how the world interacts with us) shapes the way we think. Advertising is everywhere, and that isn’t something we have personal control over. We see unhealthy standards in every magazine, billboard, and clickbait article we come across. Because we see it all the time, we’ve been brainwashed to think that those unhealthy standards are normal. We’ve been conditioned to think that having extra weight on your body is disgusting, that not shaving your legs is unsanitary, or that you need to have a six-pack to avoid a “dad bod.”
Honestly, it’s horrifying to realize what the media has done to us. No matter how much exercise we do or however many diets we go on, we are never enough for the crushing expectations upheld by society.
Taylor Swift said that “there’s always some standard of beauty that you’re not meeting. Because if you’re thin enough, then you don’t have that ass that everybody wants, but if you have enough weight on you to have an ass, then your stomach isn’t flat enough. It’s all just fucking impossible.” I like this quote a lot. It intimately reflects the double standards we’re all subjected to. No matter your gender, there’s always some sort of physical expectation, and it’s not fair. Who we are outside says nothing about who we are inside.
Most people struggle with body image and body positivity. If what’s considered beautiful doesn’t align with our own physical appearance it’s easy to feel like an outlier. But we are not outliers. We are all human beings, and no two bodies are the same. We are unique, we are amazing, and we are absolutely gorgeous, no matter our clothing size.
Our definition of beauty should not be something idealistic, unachievable, or exploitable. We need to change our mindset. Our definition of beauty should look like our best friends and family. It should look like the genuine smiles we give to each other. It should look like taking care of ourselves, regardless of whether that be sleeping more or working out a few times a week.
Acknowledging it can be difficult, but it’s the truth: beauty is inside all of us.