Recently, I read that students like ourselves are depressed over the amount of work it takes to take online classes. The number of emails that have to be answered, the online lectures, the scheduling of study time around the classes, and group meetings if—God forbid—you’ve been assigned a group project. And, of course, all of this is to be done while sitting at home alone, without the support of our classmates in the flesh.
Just like anyone who is taking the time to read this (thank you), I had my reservations about being an online student. First off, it all happened so fast. I remember hearing about COVID-19 when it was a distant problem overseas, in Wuhan, China. It now sheds a light on just how passive and ignorant I was then. I had sympathy about what was going on over there, in a roundabout, “Oh, that’s just awful,” kind of way, but I never imagined for a second that it would turn out like this. Then all the whispers in the hallways became reality when the student body was informed that the college would shut down because of the virus. I remember hearing rumours that it would most likely just be “for a few weeks.”
That was last March.
When last semester started, I couldn’t really believe it was happening; I felt a bit like Alice down the rabbit hole. There were times when I was in my virtual classroom and I would see my instructor’s face and wonder about the fact that I was in a class with 40 other people and no one was turning on their cameras. Myself included. Why? I didn’t turn mine on simply because no one else was. I’m not ashamed to admit that I don’t exactly want to make a statement; my goth days are long past. Maybe it was because people were embarrassed about the state of the area around them, but, honestly, these are fragile times. Turning on a camera exposes yourself, quite literally. Best to stay safe and type out how you feel, where you can at least edit before you send.
People are extremely resistant to change, but are also adaptable when forced into it. I feel proud of myself that I’ve adapted as well as I have, and I wonder if I’ll feel frightened when the doors to society open again.
For now, though, I’ll just start class tomorrow with the knowledge that I don’t have to get out of my pyjamas if I don’t want to.
Thanks for the comment Hayley! I am so glad to know there were things in here which resonated with you. Every two weeks I will write a new column, and I hope you will continue to check it out!
Such a powerful, well written article. I can relate to making a statement in class. It feels awkward with all eyes on you on camera. My instructors now insist everyone has their cameras on but some still don’t turn it on. Many days I feel like keeping mine off. Anyways, I appreciate the article and the picture.