Every journey through addiction recovery is unique, because everyone’s journey through life is unique. However, I believe that there are some essential ingredients in order for an addict to have success in becoming sober and finding the lost joy, peace, and self-worth that comes from remaining sober.
If there is a formula for addiction recovery it is this: honesty plus compassion and understanding plus support equals healing and recovering our true selves.
Addiction is a cunning shape shifter that can take on many forms. It can manifest as addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, or to other people, and if those outlets are removed, it will effortlessly morph into addictive shopping, pornography use, eating, or some other compulsive behaviour.
Whatever the form, the patterns of addiction will remain firmly entrenched in us until we are ready to become rigorously objective and honest in seeing the reality of these patterns and how they are destroying our ability to live well and thrive. Honesty is absolutely essential, even if we do not like what we see.
When dealing with addiction initially, we will not like what we see.
It is a difficult reality to face, and this is why compassion and understanding must go with honesty. We must look far into our own history and understand that we could not have avoided becoming addicts. As research is increasingly confirming, the root cause of addiction is usually trauma in childhood. Addiction persists due to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and loneliness, and, of course, because of the very nature of addiction—to keep us hooked lest we experience painful withdrawal.
We must find compassion for ourselves no matter how far down into the rank caverns of addiction we have fallen. We are humans, and humans are sensitive and adaptable creatures who in the midst of great pain will find a solution for survival, even if that solution later proves to be harmful.
To be totally honest about our addictions requires compassion for ourselves. Otherwise the truth of it is too painful to endure, and denial will take the place of honesty.
In order to find compassion and practice rigorous objectivity and honesty when becoming fully aware of our destructive, addictive patterns, we require support from others. In my humble opinion, we cannot recover alone. Support from others helps give us the courage and resolve needed to continue forward in healing. It keeps us accountable to others.
Moreover, as social creatures, without meaningful, supportive relationships, our ability to recover diminishes and our very desire for healing and transformation fades. Support is essential for recovering from addiction.
With honesty, compassion, and support, every person who is suffering, tightly clenched in the jaws of addiction, can recover and begin to fulfill their true purpose and calling in life.