As we roll into February, seasonal depression is in full swing, and so are those year-round disorders that so many of us struggle with. But what if you’re on the outside? How can you offer support to someone that doesn’t know how to ask for it?
Often, when people you love are dealing with anxiety, depression, psychosis, or other disorders, their first instinct is to push you away. Maybe they think you wouldn’t understand, or they don’t want to be a burden. Maybe they’re frozen, unable to explain exactly what they’re going through. Here’s how you can help.
1. In the heat of the moment
In the eye of the storm, mid panic attack or depressive episode, it’s hard to know what to do. And it depends completely on the person and situation! The most important thing is letting them know you’re there, giving them space if they ask for it, and not forcing them to talk before they’re ready. It’s critical to let them know that all their feelings are okay, real, and valid. Be patient and loving.
2. Over time
Observe your friend or family member, and try to put yourself in their shoes. What do they need most? Offer support and options for counselling or support groups. It’s best to get them talking if possible, but you have to remember that you can’t make someone get better. It’s also okay to take space and time for your own mental health. It’s okay to support, but don’t take on other people’s burdens as your own.
3. From a distance
If this person is someone you don’t see every day, it’s important to remember that lots of people struggling with mental health issues won’t initiate contact. If you haven’t heard from them in a few days, send a text! Let them know they’re loved; ask to do something. Anxiety and depression will often trick the mind into thinking of itself as a burden, and these people sometimes need a little nudge to socialize. Let them know you care!
If you’re ever concerned that the person may harm themselves, don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline—mywellness.com/camosun is also a great place to reach a 24/7 text hotline as well as online video counselling, which can be a great support for those struggling.
Don’t wait until it’s too late!