The play Forget About Tomorrow examines the life of a woman whose husband developed early onset Alzheimer’s. Playwright Jill Daum originally began writing the piece in a workshop several years ago, before it had been made public that her husband, Spirit of the West vocalist John Mann, had developed the disease.
“It was really therapeutic, and I loved writing about it. The fact that nobody knew that that was my life was somehow cathartic,” says Daum. “I got to talk about things that were actually happening to me, under this pretence that I was making up this story. It’s not John’s and my life, it’s a fictional story, but I stole things that were happening to him, and happening to me. The story is about the caregiver, not about the person who has Alzheimer’s. It’s about the person who loves somebody who gets Alzheimer’s.”
Daum expresses the difficulty that the family and friends of a person with Alzheimer’s can have, starting even before the disease has been identified.
“It’s actually a really slow unravelling that happens,” says Daum. “No one can figure out what’s going on for quite a while. All of a sudden someone isn’t acting how they used to—they’re disappointing people a lot, just in little things. They forget to take out the recycling or they just don’t do their share anymore. They sort of surreptitiously, in a way, rely on other people to do things for them; it’s like a coping mechanism that they learn almost without realizing.”
When Mann began encountering issues, doctors were not drawn towards an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, as he was still on stage performing at his usual capacity.
“It took a couple years for us to figure out what was happening, and then it’s not like you become incapacitated all at once; now you know that you have this horrible future in front of you, but you’re still functioning and leading your life,” says Daum. “I’d like people to have an understanding about early onset Alzheimer’s; it’s different. It’s not that it’s not all horrible, but there are things about getting Alzheimer’s when you’re 49 or 50 years old that are really different from getting it when you’re 79 or 80. One of the main things is a lot of people are still working; [that age is] supposed to be the pinnacle of your career.”
Daum says that Forget About Tomorrow is all about having to go from finding out to finding acceptance. She says watching the play is like watching a dream come true; she no longer sees herself in her character, but, rather, someone who she can identify with. The play also includes two songs by Mann, who has been involved in the process; true to their life together, the show also features some light-hearted, comedic moments.
“That’s my life with John—we laugh a lot and we try and make each other laugh a lot, so I just imagined that would be a part of this family’s life; that seems true to me,” says Daum. “I’m in awe of what they’re doing when I watch it. You envision it and then you see it before you. The actors that we have here are incredible. I get completely sucked up in it every time. I feel like I could watch it every day. I end up just watching something with someone who’s got so much in common with me. I really hope other people feel that too.”
Forget About Tomorrow
Various times, until Sunday, February 18
$20 to $53, Belfry Theatre
belfry.bc.ca