The Cheese Stealer’s Handbook is a ruthlessly detailed chronicle of a struggling author’s attempt, and consequent failure, at being a productive member of society.
Shoshaku Jushaku, an ironic pen name which means “life is one continuous mistake,” uses his first book to share with us the minutiae of everyday life through the (bloodshot) eyes of a drug and alcohol addict.
Stumbling his way through failed relationships and successful substance abuse, our hero, referred to only as “Aky,” narrates his painful story with darkly cynical humour and an impressive sense of detachment.
I wanted to sing this book’s praises and use all sorts of synonyms that sounded better than “good.” I was going to report that The Cheese Stealer’s Handbook was “insightful” and “thought-provoking” and “poignant.” In the end, The Cheese Stealer’s Handbook (a reference to Aky’s propensity for dairy thieving) just left me with a sour taste in my mouth.
Maybe it was my inability to empathize with a perpetually stoned protagonist, but reading about Aky’s never-ending screw-ups got old really fast. Witnessing his unstoppable self-sabotaging was both frustrating and saddening as a reader.
On one hand I wanted to shake Aky by the shoulders and tell him to get his life together; on the other hand, his tragedy reminded me of the real hardships faced by addicts and directionless people everywhere.
Sure, there were some hilariously witty insights that Aky’s drug-addled brain cooked up as he went from fix to fix, but they were not enough to offset the book’s depressing effect. Joshaku didn’t even have the courtesy to redeem poor Aky with a happy ending.
Call me emotionally vulnerable, but The Cheese Stealer’s Handbook was just too distressing for me to enjoy. So read it at your own risk, and although the book won’t actually teach you how to steal cheese from the Thrifty Foods down the street, there is a delicious fudge recipe on the back cover.
Maybe it’s Joshaku’s way of making amends.