Hey, everyone! River here. I’ve been reading the stars and I’m not too proud of you. You’d think after last time you’d smarten up your act. Looks to me like you havOH MY GOD A BUTTERFLY, GOTTA GO!
Aries: Bring me more butterflies, they’re so pretty!
Taurus: The planets are aligned, the stars are in the heavens, and you better stop reading this and keep studying, because that test isn’t going to be easy.
Gemini: There’s no way she doesn’t know. Really.
Cancer: Your lucky numbers are 3, 6, and 18. But don’t buy a lotto ticket. You’ll die on the walk over there. Totally not worth it.
Leo: Um, can you find the Aries people and help with the butterfly thing please and thanks?
Virgo: Ever try to put up that plastic wrap seal over your horrible single-pane windows? It’s hard, isn’t it? Put up this year’s on Saturday, October 19, at 10:28 in the morning. It’ll be way easy. Trust me on this, I’m an astrologist! (And if it doesn’t work out, tell it to my editor, not me, LOL).
Libra: I told you last time to “just start.” You really shouldn’t have listened to me.
Scorpio: Hi! I really like your sign; ohmygod, totally not hitting on you; I just think scorpions are cool. I held one once!
Sagittarius: Oh no, I ran out of space and didn’t tell Scorpio what was in their future! Oh no, it happened to you, too!
Capricorn: Okay, hold on, gotta stop. Capricorn, Scorpio, AND Sagittarius, um, you guys are all good. Watch out for dogs, eat yummy things.
Aquarius: I don’t think I mentioned this last time, but I’m totally an Aquarius. So, like, right on! Great things are gonna happen, and I totally read that in the stars, not just saying that because we rock.
Pisces: Whatevs.