We thought we’d turn this part of the paper over to our resident astrological analyst to see what she has to say about what’s in your future for the next couple weeks. Man, we’re surprised at what she came up with. Ya’ll are a shady bunch.
Aries: Turn around and walk back into the Fisher building. NOW.
Taurus: The leaf you stepped on this morning? That was a mistake.
Gemini: Your lucky number is 13, but that’s not going to help you that much.
Cancer: Look, you might want to just go back to bed now.
Leo: Hey, things are going good for you! Keep up the good work. It has nothing to do with you being a Leo, unfortunately.
Virgo: Just stop.
Libra: Just start.
Scorpio: You think no one knows, but at least one person knows. But that doesn’t mean it needs to end.
Sagittarius: Public speaking is one fear you’re going to conquer soon. That other big fear? It’s with you for a while yet.
Capricorn: Whatever the next fortune cookie you read says, I second that.
Aquarius: You’re smarter than this. But you’re doing it anyway.
Pisces: There were wires.