It can be difficult when initially claiming our sexual identity, or other identities. For some of us, there’s a long, internal dialogue that occurs before ever acting upon our feelings and taking agency over ourselves.
Others seem to come into it more readily. It’s a hard path to stray from the hegemony and trade what cultural capital we have, if any, for identities that are true, but considered lesser in the macro society.
In the process of coming out we tend to seek like minds for peer support and advice. This can be an exciting process to find others sharing a similar experience. But beware: on occasion, the community we seek can be more judgmental than the societal elements we are trying to evade; the oppressed become the oppressor.
I have been in situations that I thought were going to be safe environments with future friends, only to find that I was not good enough, not trans enough, or not gay. I wasn’t trans enough because I have not had “the surgery” or not gay because I can’t be a lesbian, according to a few.
We must not let situations such as this deny us the opportunity to find and have real support. There are wonderful groups out there, and really great queer centres offering events and get-togethers that can be that support we’re looking for.
Camosun Pride is a great place and if you’re looking to find some good people and make new friends, the door is always open.