Thursday, March 7
Masta Ace, Stricklin, Wordsworth, The Bundles, Ill Tone & The Kids
Lucky Bar, $18, 9 pm
I’m consistently amused by the way a story can be transformed from one mouth to another. It’s like that game Telephone. You know the one? Remember it from when you were a kid? In it, it’s the darndest thing: you whisper a message to someone else and they whisper what they said to the next person in line, and so on, until the last person announces the message to everybody. “The large brown dog is chasing you” suddenly becomes “don’t forget to wipe after you poo” or something equally as ridiculous. But, you know, I guess it’s a little like a history book. The truth depends on what side of the line you’re on.
Friday, March 8
Electric Six, The Matinee
Club 90ne9, $16, 7 pm
Going to the movies in the middle of the day can really throw your brain for a loop. Ask the Nexus editor-in-chief, he’ll agree with me here. It’s like this: you relax into the cushy seat, buttery popcorn coating your fingers with grease, waiting in the dark to be entertained for a couple of hours. Then, you return to the real world, squinting and yawning, wondering if you should just head home for a nap. I guess you could go on a winery tour, or go hang-gliding, or repaint a door frame, or something else productive, but, really, who wants to get stuff done after something like that?
Sunday, March 10
Martha Wainwright, AroarA
St. Ann’s Academy, $22, 8 pm
I’ve been saving my ticket stubs from whatever events I’ve been to for about 20 years. Anything from the Barenaked Ladies gig I saw in tenth grade, to my first Toronto Blue Jays game at the Skydome in 1993, to my first playoff hockey game, to the Muse concert I went to a few weeks ago. This box of randomness needs some serious organization, so I asked for a photo album for my last birthday. Of course, the photo album is still empty. I wish you could buy time. Not the magazine, but the indefinite continued progress of existence.
Monday, March 11
Mason Jennings
Upstairs Cabaret, $20, 7 pm
I’ve never been surfing. I’ve been a skateboarder for 25 years but my swimming skills are a little lacking, so I’ve never trusted myself enough to stay alive in the ocean. I’ve sold a surfboard or two in my day, a handful of wetsuits and a ton of surf gloves, booties, and wax while I worked in a local shop, but that was purely based on charisma and fluke. I never lied about it. I told people straight up that I didn’t surf, but I was a good listener and savvy enough to know what worked and what didn’t. All those suckers fell for it. Like most jobs, that job really wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t for all the customers.
Tuesday, March 19
Born Ruffians
Lucky Bar, $18, 8 pm
I wasn’t a particularly mean kid in grade school, but I do remember one instance that would seem harsh to most folks. Imagine winter in the Yukon. Ice, wind, and far-below-zero temperatures surround you while you’re on the playground for recess. One of the kids in your class has been particularly annoying that day. You ask him if he’s ever tasted one of the support poles for the swings in the winter. They’re almost like ice cream, you say, why not have a lick? I’m actually cringing as I write this.