Thursday, November 29
Eliot Lipp
Lucky Bar, $15, 8 PM
I haven’t watched E.T. in a really long time. I might have to get a big bag of Reese’s Pieces and sit down with my family for a classic-movie night. I wore a blue long-sleeved E.T. shirt in my grade two school photo. It had one of those iron-on type prints that you don’t really see anymore. The ones that don’t fade with washings so much as they crack and peel and start to look just horrible after a while. It’s too bad. I really loved that shirt.
Friday, November 30
Poor Young Things, Tim Chaisson
Felicita’s Pub, $10, 9 PM
Michael Jackson’s Thriller album sure is awesome for something that’s having its 30-year anniversary. Every time I see Poor Young Things on a poster I think of Michael Jackson. He had a song on that album called “P.Y.T.,” but it stood for “pretty young thing.” Does anybody know if Poor Young Things do a cover of that? If they don’t, they should. I bet it would sound sweet as a rocker with some harmonies. Throw a little guitar solo in there and you’ve got a hit. If Alien Ant Farm can do it with “Smooth Criminal,” this one’s a no-brainer.
Saturday, December 1
Woodsmen, KHBR, Leisure Suit
Lucky Bar, 7 PM
I bet the Woodsmen could get a great name for themselves as a grunge cover band. I don’t even know what they sound like, but they could put on a bunch of matching plaid shirts, grow some crusty beards with some long hair, and rock out old Alice in Chains tunes. Sure, it’d be stereotypical, but I was alive in the ’90s. Everybody really did look like that.
Monday, December 3
Said the Whale, Carmanah
UVic University Centre Auditorium, $22, 7 PM
Have you ever used one of those relaxation albums? You get different options like soothing rain, flowing ocean, the wind in the trees, whale songs, stuff like that. If you’re trying to get all zen and zero in on your inner self, have a listen to one of those. You might fall asleep five minutes in, but isn’t that just the ultimate form of relaxation? Or better yet, do yoga while listening to one. Yeah, that should help keep your eyes open. I’m falling asleep just writing about it.
Wednesday, December 5
The Funk Hunters, Celebrity Traffic, Party On High Street
Club 90ne9, $20, 9 PM
I keep getting these ideas for television shows while writing about all the bands coming through town. Imagine a show where producers or managers had to battle it out with different singers and the fans would call in or vote online to pick the winner. You could give a bunch of backstory on the artists, each one pulling at the heartstrings to make you care and vote for them. What? The Voice? X-Factor? Never heard of them. Dammit, I thought I had a winning idea there, for sure.
Thursday, December 6
Astronautalis, Busdriver, Jel
Club 90ne9, $15, 9:30 PM
I remember being on the school bus when I was little and one of the older kids decided to harass me. He sat down beside me and started pushing my buttons. I had my lunchbox open and he really wanted my apple. I told him, “No, it’s my apple. Get your own!” He grabbed it from me and took a bite. So I closed my little lunchbox clasps, clenched the handle tightly and smashed him in the face hard enough for him to drop my apple. Then I ate it.
Friday, December 7
Monophonics, The New Souls
Upstairs Cabaret, 7 PM
I would love to visit San Francisco one of these days. Some of my friends seem to think I’d really like the place. A couple of my best friends live in Philadelphia at the moment, but they keep talking about moving to San Francisco. That would be the perfect excuse. They know that if I could, I would visit them wherever they live. San Francisco is just a few thousand miles closer. Hell, I could drive there in a day or so. I really miss those two.
Sunday, December 9
The Cave Singers, Poor Moon
Sugar Nightclub, $20, 8 PM
The acoustics in a cave would be wonderful and terrible all at the same time. I guess it would really depend on how big the cave was, but I bet the walls would just give such an awe-inspiring feel to whatever was played in there. Then again, there’s the echo that could end up really distracting. And, of course, the bat poop. That would probably be the worst part. I think local punk band Dayglo Abortions said it best: “Here today, guano tomorrow.”