Wednesday, September 5
The Hives, Fidlar
Club 90NE9, $35, 9 PM
I think I was 11 the first time I got them. To this day, I’m not sure why they appeared or what caused it. Stress, maybe. But I was 11, for Chrissakes… what the hell could I be stressed about? Anyway, the itchy little suckers are back and this time they’re playing instruments and wearing suits. And once again, they’ll probably kick my ass. You know, I sure hope I’m not allergic to rock ‘n’ roll.
Thursday, September 6
Tech N9ne, Krizz Kaliko, Madchild, The Scale Breakers
Club 90NE9, $40, 9 PM
It’s going to be sweaty in the club Thursday night. A bunch of homies sucking back Caribou Lou’s and rhyming along with some of the hardest-working rappers around. Have you ever seen Tech N9ne do a live show? The dude can sweat like nobody’s business. He works hard for your money so you better treat him right. (And, RIP, Donna Summer, Queen of Disco.)
Sunday, September 9
Future Islands, Miami Nights 1984
Lucky Bar, $12, 8 PM
Have you ever heard anyone say a singer has a “milky” voice? Do you know what that means? It’s a bit like their vocal sound has a thickness to it, I guess. When the lead singer for Future Islands really gets into it, his voice gets milky. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing, necessarily. It’s just something I noticed. Slightly sombre synth-pop reminds me of ’80s movies. You may want to start a John Hughes marathon after this show.
Wednesday, September 12
Krafty Kuts, The Funk Hunters, The Spilly G’s
Club 90NE9, $15-$25, 9 PM
Personally, I like to mix in a can of tuna and some extra cheese with my Kraft Dinner. It gives it a bit more sustenance, y’know? Really makes it feel like you’re getting a substantial meal. I know my mother-in-law swears that peas and tomatoes are the way to go, but I just don’t feel like you’re getting filled up. I mean, sure, it tastes damn good but it’s not really the gut pack that I get from the tuna. Now, Krafty Kuts, for example, is just the right amount of gut pack. He’ll fill you so full of funk you won’t want to eat for days.
Monday, September 17
Buckethead
Club 90NE9, $25.50-$30.50, 9pm
Playing guitar is hard. You’ve got to practice A LOT to get good. I tried it for about a week. Way too hard. I went back to video games for my hand-eye coordination. So much easier. I don’t think this guy (who, inexplicably, wears a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket on his head while playing guitar) has had the chance to play any video games during his lifetime. He’s released 37 albums. Thirty-seven. Most people reading this haven’t been alive that many years. Not only that but he’s collaborated on over 50 others. The fact that he even has time to tour is amazing. I’m tired just thinking about it. Time for a nap.