What does everyone have? Anuses! But how many of us like using them for things other than an exit? For this episode of Double Teamed, we talk about starfish and salad tossing.
Dylan: So! Anuses: love them or hate them?
Clorisa: I’m pretty apathetic towards anuses, actually. Apathy for anuses. If I had to start a club about anuses, that’s probably what I would call it.
D: You really don’t like them?
C: Well, they’re not really my thing if we’re going to talk about them in a sexy-times kind of way, because in my opinion that’s an exit-only zone. How about you, love them or hate them?
D: I have mixed feeling about them. I don’t really like anything in or around my anus. I’ve had a couple girls try to put their fingers in there in the heat of the moment and I do not like it. But I’ve also dated girls who love it, so apparently it’s potentially a fantastic erogenous zone.
C: Yeah, I’m not a big fan.
D: What about salad tossing? That’s when you’re licking out an asshole.
C: Nope, I don’t care for it – not ever. That is poop; that’s where it comes from and it has no business being near my mouth. Poop is gross. Poop is everything your body didn’t want.
D: I knew someone who said that getting his salad tossed was the best thing ever; I just don’t think I would ever be comfortable with a tongue in my ass. I don’t think I would even want to subject someone to tossing my salad, even after having a shower and being thoroughly cleaned.
C: This is ruining salad for me.
D: Well, what about anal sex? I’ve known girls who actually prefer anal sex to vaginal sex. I remember some female friends talking about what it was like to get fucked in the ass, which then ruined the idea of anal sex for me because one of them said, “It’s like having a poo in reverse.”
C: Poop is the least sexy thing. I think it’s interesting though, because when you think about it, anal sex is the only thing that everyone, every gender, every person, would know or be able to guess what it would feel like, because everyone has an asshole, and everyone poops, and everyone should be able to guess what a reverse poo would feel like. In my opinion, not great.