Inter-Course: Lesbian bed death, not just a band name
When walking the dogs is more fun than having sex.
I was out shopping with a lesbian girlfriend of mine the other day that had recently broken up with her long-term girlfriend.
As we oohed and aahed over purple, silky tops and way-too-expensive cashmere scarves, I asked her why she thought her relationship hadn’t worked out. Her answer? Lesbian bed death.
The first thing that sprang to mind was crib death, but I knew her ex was still alive and it was probably impossible for a grown woman to suffocate on her own mattress, so I asked her to elaborate.
Apparently, lesbian bed death is a common affliction among lesbians in long-term relationships. So common, in fact, that when I went home and Googled it, the search engine provided 252,000 results.
To be fair, some of those results were for a band called Lesbian Bed Death (come on, you know someone had to do it), but mostly they were discussion forums about lesbian bed death where people gave each other advice about how to avoid or fix it.
Lesbian bed death is when a girl-on-girl couple goes from being hot sexual partners to something akin to cuddly roommates who share a bed.
Most people who have been in a long-term relationship know that, over time, the number of times a week/month/year a couple has sex can definitely dwindle.
But believers in lesbian bed death claim that because men are notoriously hornier than women (which I personally am not at all convinced of) and often wake up with boners (which is a much more plausible reason), the male sex drive keeps the sexual part of a straight relationship alive.
They say because there’s no man to be the horny one when things get stagnant in lesbian relationships, eventually the sex just... dies.
Now, most of the time I’m not a lesbian, so maybe I just don’t understand, but I’ve heard of many cases where the same thing happens in straight relationships. I once knew a straight couple that didn’t have sex for four years before they finally called it quits.
Usually though, from what I’ve seen, the lack of sex drive stems from deeper-seated problems in the relationship. I asked my friend if she had lost her sex drive altogether during the relationship, or if she had still been attracted to other women.
She said she definitely had still been attracted to other women, and that this was also a common symptom of lesbian bed death. She explained that, often, when lesbian couples experienced the problem but didn’t want to end the relationship because they still loved each other, they agreed to open up their relationship sexually.
She said that sometimes opening up a relationship even cured lesbian bed death.
But the same thing can happen with a straight couple that decides to become swingers or have threesomes to spice up their sex life.
So, yeah, there you have it. Lesbian bed death.
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