Arena Rock: Swollen Members
Photo by Keltie Larter.
Swollen Members
Element, Jan. 31
I've never been much of a Swollen Members fan. You've got to wonder what was going through their heads when they decided on that band name. I mean, really, did these guys mean to call themselves erect penises? And even if the name is supposed to allude to something other than boners, they must've known that's the first thing that would come to mind.
Standing in line to get into their show at Element recently, I couldn't help but wonder how many fights would break out before the night was through. The place was packed to the tits with gelled-up, fake-tanned, tattooed douchebags who looked as if they had wandered over from Plan B.
Despite the uninspiring crowd and the super cheesy house music leading up to the show, the opening act, Goodbye Beatdown, were pretty good. Their upbeat mix of ska and hip-hop was fun, and I started to feel like maybe the whole thing wasn't a waste of my time after all.
Surprisingly, the Swollen Members weren't bad either. Although their lyrics are pretty shallow and full of macho posturing, the beats were good and the crowd stopped strutting around like a bunch of steroid monkeys with stink eye and actually started dancing.
Did I love it? Nah. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be either.
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